My friend is a douche

[Harvey Specter]

Do any of you have a "friend" that you aren't very fond of, but is still in your close circle of friends?

This guy has been good friends with us since around graduation of high school, so it's been a while.
Sometimes he is great to hang out with, is really funny, and he's nerdy but in a cool way and references internet jokes (example: lol wut/ i like turtles) which can be fun.

But he's socially awkward so he has a bit of a distorted view on society.  He seems really selfish at times and has the worst common sense at times (he always asks for rides even though I'm going the opposite way across town meaning it would add like 45 mins to my commute).  He also kills our chances with girls because he can't take hints or clues resulting in massive cock-blockage.

Another thing is, now that he's in school (only taking 1 class) he over values his own opinion.  He will get in arguments over absolutely nothing, just for the sake of arguing.  He'll throw in a few words to bridge together his thoughts to sound sophisticated ("however", "true, but...") but his arguments are always so terrible.  One time we were talking about how people can lie and become pathological liars (eg. Wally), and he disagreed with me and 10 minutes later he re-stated my thesis statement and thought he was right.  I just can't comprehend it to be honest.

So last night might of been the last straw for me.  We got fairly drunk, he took me to the hockey game, and we drank more afterwards.  We met up with our other friend and his gf and we were waiting for the sky train and they started to make out.  So I was like, "yo dude, come check this out" to isolate my friend and the girl to give them some privacy.  Somehow this sparked a huge debate (once again, over nothing) and lasted for like 25 mins and then he started punching me because he's a tool. 

Also, he's notorious for getting in massive arguments over who called shot gun first.  This one time, outside a busy 7/11, he argued with my friend over who called shotgun for like 5 minutes while people walked by, while the rest of us were laughing our asses off.


So basically, I have an immature cock blocking douche bag "friend". 
FML

[.Nick]

i didnt wanna say this.. but i think your going to have to kill him.. or, you could just talk to him about it, and tell him whats up

[Harvey Specter]

i didnt wanna say this.. but i think your going to have to kill him.. or, you could just talk to him about it, and tell him whats up

I know, honesty, trust, and loyalty is what friendship should be based on and all that shit.  But seriously, if I bring it up, I'm forecasting another
pointless argument over nothing.  It's not even worth trying.

[.Nick]

why dont you stop hanging out with him for a bit and maybe he'll get the hint

[Harvey Specter]

why dont you stop hanging out with him for a bit and maybe he'll get the hint

True, that is exactly what I'm going to do.
But I know this guy too well, and he's a pretty big hermit.  He's hooked on WoW, 'nuff said. 
So he'll just do his own thing for a while and then things will have cooled down and then we will hang out again and the cycle will continue.

[.Nick]

tell him if he doesn't quite acting a fag your gonna cancel his WoW subscription and make his parents force him to move out

[Art Vandelay-182]

Just stop talking and hanging out with him. Now depending on how much you actually want this guy around you can try being more assertive (if you haven't already) about the specific things about his behavior that bother you. In my opinion, it seems like...this is who he is and that talking to him won't help much. I would then advize you to just cease any hanging out or talking to him altogether. It's a pretty easy and safe way to give someone the message.

[Mard]

i got 99 problems...

[Tyler☮]

this guy sounds like a total douche. just ignore him and hopefully he'll get the picture.

And Abraham Lincoln: I laugh at all your posts because I picture Abe Lincoln saying it.

[Grand Master Jon]

just tell him to take the stick out of his ass. i have a similar situation, where my friend and his gf were on a rough patch and another friend in our "group" decided to sleep with her, i wanted to smack him

[Duck182]

i got 99 problems...

But a douchebag cock-blocking friend ain't one!

[black_out]

Somehow you're rewarding his shitty behavior, probably by allowing it to continue. Make it clear you're not down with the shit he does. Tell him exactly what you told us. "Dude, remember that time our friend was hooking up with his gf and we should've left them alone but you insisted on sticking around? Not cool." It sucks to call people out but sometimes you have to do it, and he'll thank you later on, because if you won't, nobody else will.

[jimmyjangster]

i got 99 problems...

and theyre all bitches

[THillingworth]

HA, i kind of have this friend.
Socially awkward, distored views, always right, tard. Yup.

I have known the guy since i was born, and the other friends in my group have for 7 years, and when its just me and him we get on fine. But when anything else is added to the mix he becomes a complete twat.
He has a horrible reputation due to the fact he cannot for the life of him handle his drink, although he claims he can handle twice as much as any of us. Examples of this included pissing on my friends sofa and farting in my mates girlfriends face (tbh though shes a bitch so fair play).
Anyway he is therefore a complete cock block. If your with a girl in a bar or club he will come over and completely kill the mood. Its almost always impossible to meet up with girls on nights out because they always ask "Is _____ going" to which the answer is always yes.

Your best bet is to try and train him Casey.
If not then just do your best to do things without him.
My mate has been getting better but as soon as he gets drunk he becomes a twat again. Although hes getting slightly better at that.
His reputation will never get any better though.

[Harvey Specter]

HA, i kind of have this friend.
Socially awkward, distored views, always right, tard. Yup.

I have known the guy since i was born, and the other friends in my group have for 7 years, and when its just me and him we get on fine. But when anything else is added to the mix he becomes a complete twat.
He has a horrible reputation due to the fact he cannot for the life of him handle his drink, although he claims he can handle twice as much as any of us. Examples of this included pissing on my friends sofa and farting in my mates girlfriends face (tbh though shes a bitch so fair play).
Anyway he is therefore a complete cock block. If your with a girl in a bar or club he will come over and completely kill the mood. Its almost always impossible to meet up with girls on nights out because they always ask "Is _____ going" to which the answer is always yes.

Your best bet is to try and train him Casey.
If not then just do your best to do things without him.
My mate has been getting better but as soon as he gets drunk he becomes a twat again. Although hes getting slightly better at that.
His reputation will never get any better though.

Wow, that does sound exactly like the guy I was talking about.

So far I've just avoided him, I've talked to him a bit on facebook since the original post, but haven't answered his calls or anything.  He just wants to get drunk and play video games which is cool, but lately I've been going downtown to party and that's like his kryptonite so we haven't hung out in a while.  I'll call him out on it next time it happens, but I'm going to delay the inevitable for a while

[.Nick]

whats worse is a person in the group of friends that no one in the group likes