I lay by your body and I kiss your neck
I peel off your clothes and whisper this is it
when I know that it's not I just have to pretend
that it's better than it is but who am I to kid
I wish you were closer but you're as close as it gets
So wishing for that's just one more stupid wish
It's like sometimes we're good but it's too hit or miss
to feel safe and protected from all the nonsense
and you're the cigarette I smoke when everything in me dies
when the wave come crashing in like I'm an island not worth life
you're the thunder and lightning that light up the night
and blind both my eyes like sleep doesn't seem right
I'll be so far past sad and then carefully glad
to the point where you're mad I'm not an open latch
but it's all your fault dear cause you don't let me in
until I'm almost dead then you share your secrets
and then you wonder why I can't look you in the eye
when you tell me you're sad I stare at grains of rice
and the table and the ground and the hair in my cup
but it's long so it's yours and that just fucks me up
and I sink like a brick in the chair next to you
worn out from the bull shit you feed me so rude
You're so loud I'm so soft and done with feeling lost
with your hand in my hand you mind fuck me so much
but I can't get enough of the strong lack of trust
and wanting to fix what can't be fixed enough
to remain a good thing , I should just pawn you off
but I can't cause I love you more than you hate us
